An Experience of Spiritual Transformation

We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together....
I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.
~Helen Hayes

To become spiritual begins we must experience stages of transformation. Some of these experiences are short and fast while others seem to take forever. More often than not, spiritual transformations are painful and difficult. Nevertheless, these stages are necessary for achieving our ultimate goal in becoming spiritual beings on this plain and the next.

My most recent transformation began about two years ago no where near an end! I do admit some days change is hard to bear and I wish it would hurry the heck up, but then there are days when it all makes perfect sense and I don’t mind the lag.

It all started with a standard Medicine card reading. The intent is to focus my efforts in the right direction for the day or week depending on the situation and project. I could feel myself becoming unbalanced and disoriented on my path and felt a strong need for some clarity.

I know many of us who specialize in divination do this kind reading for others and ourselves all the time. Usually they are basic, the person in question draws a couple of helpful cards, and we are on our way. I honestly thought that this would be one of those simple readings. As the universe would reveal, I was very wrong.

I remember it clearly; I was sitting at my usual spot in the park over looking the Susquehanna River during my lunch hour, when I pulled a very distinct arrangement of cards. The spread I was doing was intended to show me how to achieve balance through Father Sun and Mother Earth (above and below). The shock came to me as I revealed my cards. Instead of balance, they spoke specifically of change, and chaos.

First, I pulled Dragon Fly. On the surface Dragon Fly teaches us about Illusion. The story of Dragon Fly talks about how he was once a very powerful Dragon who was tricked by Coyote into the form we know today. When we look at Dragon Fly, we see the Magick bottle up within Dragon Fly through the iridescent shimmer of Dragon Fly’s wings.

Knowing this we also consider Dragon Fly to be a symbol of locked up potential. When we see Dragon Fly in a spread, it tends to mean that the person in question is not living up to his/her true greatness/potential. This blockage is usually evident through some sort of illusion the person places in his/her life.

Dragon Fly is also a symbol for change over time. It takes about 2 years for many Species of Dragon Fly to transform from an egg to an adult Dragon Fly. Therefore, as a reader I recognize that Dragon Fly is telling me that I will be entering into a 2 year transformation. Dragon Fly is also one of the few creatures equally associated with Air and Water.

For me, this card fell in the Mother Earth position. This position teaches us to receive the goodness Mother Earth has to offer through time and patience. This energy is of the Female trinity; Maiden, Mother, and Crone. This ever-changing female energy opens us up to creativity and psychic pathways.

Therefore, from the start of this reading I am told that slow change is coming two fold. I am also told that all seeds require time to germinate and need nurturing before they can grow into their true potential, again two fold.

The next card I pulled is for the Father Sky position. This is of Male energy and Warrior Energy. In this position, we are taught lessons of how to heal, how to move forward, and how to look at things in the material world. This energy is faster and plays a distinct contrast to female energy, which is slower and less analytical.

As I turned my second card to face me, I was dumfounded to see Frog. I was not sure what to make of this spread. I even looked up at my favorite tree for some clarity, but only found the words “accept it” instead. I thought to myself, “Did I not shuffle properly? There is no way both of these cards could end up next to each other in this spread. However, there they were, and their message was clear.

If you have not guessed, Frog is another symbol for transformation. Frog’s association is with Earth and Water, which is only one of its many links to Dragon Fly. Like Dragon Fly frogs goes through a transformation, but only faster.

I sat back and knew that I needed to expect some serious changes. I knew that at least the next two years would be hard. Change is not always easy and lets face it we humans are not very welcoming of change, especially when the change promises to be BIG! Nevertheless, I was glad to have the warning.

I have moved past the two-year mark of this foretold transformation. I look back and see that so many things have happened. I was laid off from my high paying desk job, began working in the theater as a seamstress, started a business, ended the business, had a baby, developed some really great friendships, and then lost them.

So now, I am here… Where exactly is “here”? I am not sure yet. I know the journey is not over and there are more big changes coming. What I do know is that I have transformed.

What mattered to me before seems superficial. Having a high paying desk job that allows me to buy the latest and greatest is no longer a priority. Instead, I am happy working a low pay job that allows me to be with my family.

Instead of having, a bunch of friendships that are shallow and dare I say it… fake. I now focus on friendships that are meaningful, fulfilling, and pure.

I have to admit that through out these past couple of years I have taken some hard hits, so much that I have almost completely moved myself from my local Pagan Community. I have even shed myself of most Pagan friendships. Through it all, I experienced some severe depression, anxiety, and remorse over the people and things I lost.

Often I found myself alone to wallow in my self-pity, but it is through this solitude I found my strength and myself. Although this journey has been tough, I am walking forward with so much more than I had before. I have learned to listen to my inner voice more closely, which has drastically improved my empathic abilities. I am now more skilled in reading my Medicine cards, especially for others. I am spending more time worrying about the Earth and my family, rather than worrying about being included in the next big ritual or concert. I have discovered the true character of those who do a very good job of pretending. More importantly, I have discovered my own true character, which surprisingly enough has not changed much. Instead, I have raised my standards.

I am spending more time teaching true seekers who want to learn and grow. I have shed the need to look “good” in the eyes of others and I am now starting to look good to myself. I focus less on the superficial and more on the bigger picture.

Now, I find solitude valuable. I am no longer afraid to be within myself as I find peace and enlightenment.

As much as change stresses us out, it is necessary. If I learn nothing from all I have gained and lost, I at least know that I have not yet reached my full potential and that I have the opportunity to keep going. When I was in the deepest darkest depression morning all I had lost, one thing pulled me through; I always have the opportunity to stand up and move forward.

Through pain, we know happiness and through self-discovery, we evolve. When faced with losing it all we have a choice to make. Do we deviate and weaken on our spiritual path or do we rise above to become our true potential?

In every event and through every trial we have a choice. Everyday, we are empowered to make that choice.

Roots of the Heart

Roots run deep

Like those of the heart

Like those of heartache

The smallest connection can have the greatest impact

As the ripples of life touch us, we forget to feel these connections

As the ripples of emotion move us, we block out their subtle message of peace and compassion

As the ripples of heartache affect us, we forget the messages of compassion and peace.

We erect the walls around our souls, becoming unable to receive the messages of the Divine.

We all seek peace.

May it be soon that we all find it.

Punished for being Me

Early morning wakes me with tears...

The chatter continues. I hear their voices from the distance.

Their concerns are not for me. Their compassion wanes.

They wake me frequently with their thoughts and words. I see the trees that surround them and ask for help.

The trees smile but can do nothing, for their chatter drowns their plea.

The one thing we are told to be. I am punished for being me.

No matter how kind I can be, I am punished for being me.

By: Leandra Witchwood
First published 11-5-08

I again realize how we forget the value of and how precious people are in our lives.

The relationships we forge go on even after we do not.

I pray for love and peace for all who have touched my life. I pray for resolution in those relationship that have become damaged.

I pray for hope and clarity for you today!

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.” -Author unknown

12 signs of awakening spirituality

12 signs of awakening spirituality

1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your DNA level as the "Christ seed" awakens within. This too shall pass.
2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness. This is similar to the experience of moving from a house where you lived in for many, many years into a new house. As much as you want to move into the new house, there is a sadness of leaving behind the memories, energy and experiences of the old house. This too shall pass.
3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to 2 above. It's good and healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. This too shall pass.
4. Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don't worry about finding the "perfect" job or career right now. This too shall pass. You're in transition, and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.
5. Withdrawal from family relationships. You are connected to your biological family via old karma. When you get off the karmic cycle, the bonds of the old relationships are released. It will appear as though you are drifting away from your family and friends. This too shall pass. After a period of time, you may develop a new relationship with them if it is appropriate. However, the relationship will be based in the new energy without the karmic attachments.
6. Unusual sleep patterns. It's likely that you'll awaken many nights between 2:00–4:00 a.m. There's a lot of work going on within you, and it often causes you to wake up for a "breather." Not to worry. If you can't go back to sleep, get up and do something rather than lay in bed and worry about humanly things. This too shall pass.
7. Intense dreams. These might include war and battle dreams, chase dreams or monster dreams. You are literally releasing the old energy within, and these energies of the past are often symbolized as wars, running to escape and boogey-man. This too shall pass.
8. Physical disorientation. At times you'll feel very ungrounded. You'll be "spatially challenged" with the feeling like you can't put two feet on the ground or that you're walking between two worlds. As your consciousness transitions into the new energy, you body sometimes lags behind. Spend more time in nature to help ground the new energy within. This too shall pass.
9. Increased "self talk." You'll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You'll suddenly realize you've been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you're experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You're not going crazy, you're just Shaumbra moving into the new energy.
10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others. You may feel alone and removed from others. You may feel the desire to "flee" groups and crowds. As Shaumbra, you are walking a sacred and lonely path. As much as the feelings of loneliness cause you anxiety, it is difficult to relate to others at this time. The feelings of loneliness are also associated with the fact that your Guides have departed. They have been with you on all of your journeys in all of your lifetimes. It was time for them to back away so you could fill your space with your own divinity. This too shall pass. The void within will be filled with the love and energy of your own Christ consciousness.
11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally dis-impassioned, with little or no desire to do anything. That's okay, and it's just part of the process. Take this time to "do no-thing." Don't fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It's similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the new Christ-seed energy.
12. A deep longing to go Home. This is perhaps the most difficult and challenging of any of the conditions. You may experience a deep and overwhelming desire to leave the planet and return to Home. This is not a "suicidal" feeling. It is not based in anger or frustration. You don't want to make a big deal of it or cause drama for yourself or other. There is a quiet part of you that wants to go Home. The root cause for this is quite simple. You have completed your karmic cycles. You have completed your contract for this lifetime. You are ready to begin a new lifetime while still in this physical body. During this transition process, you have inner remembrances of what it is like to be on the other side. Are you ready to enlist for another tour of duty here on Earth? Are you ready to take on the challenges of moving into the New Energy? Yes, indeed, you could go Home right now. But you've come this far, and after many, many lifetimes it would be a shame to leave before the end of the movie. Besides, Spirit needs you here to help others transition into the new energy. They will need a human guide, just like you, who has taken the journey from the old energy into the new. The path you're walking right now provides the experiences to enable you to become a Teacher of the New Divine Human. As lonely and dark as your journey can be at times, remember that you are never alone.